March 30, 2011

I QUIT - Woo Hoo!!!!!!!

I told you I was going to talk about things going on in my life.  One great thing that happened almost 6 weeks ago is that after 30+ years of smoking, I decided it was time to quit.  I mean really quit this time.  I’ve done it before, but it never lasted for very long (the longest was two years).  If you’ve ever been a smoker, you know how hard it is.  I’ve tried patches, gum, anti-depressant drugs, hypnotherapy and pretty much everything in between, but nothing really worked.  Even during the two year period that I wasn’t smoking, I never stopped wanting it; never stopped craving it.  It was pure Hell.  Nothing could take the place of that feel of the cigarette on my lips, the taste of menthol, the feeling in my throat as I inhaled and then the pure satisfaction I felt while exhaling this beautiful, billowing white cloud of smoke.  I have always enjoyed smoking and didn’t really want to quit, but I knew I had to.  I know it is extremely bad for my health as well as the health of those around me, but that still doesn’t stop me from wanting, even needing my fix.
I was married to my first husband for 21 years.  He is also a smoker.  We smoked in our house, our cars, at our place of business and anywhere we wanted to.  The smell in my house never bothered me.  I didn’t notice it.  I did, however, notice the yellow walls, curtains and furniture.  But, oh well, we’re smokers, so you just have to learn to live with it.
Even though we’re no longer married, my ex-husband and I still own three businesses together, and work together every day.  And yes, we smoke at work.  Actually, everybody that works for us smokes, so during the two years that I didn’t smoke, you can imagine how hard it was for me to go to work every day.  As soon as I walked in the door, the smell would hit me.  It smelled horrible to me when I first walked in, but after being there for a few minutes, it smelled like Heaven.  I wanted it – BAD.  How am I to going to make it through this when everybody around me is smoking?  I actually thought to myself “Well, it is my business – I could make it a non-smoking business”.  That’s easier said than done.  You see, it’s not just my business.  I have an equal partner (my ex-husband) who is a heavy smoker.  I did try to talk to him about it, but he made it clear that I was the one who had quit smoking, not him.  However, he did say he would try to cut back on smoking in the office and go out to the shop to smoke.  That lasted about a day.  Needless to say, I eventually gave in to my urges and went back to smoking again.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming anyone for my smoking except me.  Like I said before, it is pure Hell.
I’m now married again to the most wonderful man in the world, who is, by the way, a NON-SMOKER.  He hated the fact that I smoked, but lucky for me he loves me anyway.  I don’t smoke in our house or our cars – I go outside.  But that’s still a problem because I smell like smoke when I come back in the house.  He doesn’t complain (much), but I can see that look on his face when I get too close to him.  You know - that “Damn, you stink” look.  It’s the same look I get every day when I come home from work after being cooped up in a building where everybody smokes.  I stink and I know it.  Since he never smoked, it’s hard for him to understand my addiction.  Hell, it’s hard for me to understand my addiction.  Like I said before, he doesn’t complain, however he does express (on a regular basis) his concern for my health.
Not long ago, a friend of mine bought an e-cigarette and told me about it.  I had never actually heard of e-cigarettes until then.  I thought to myself, “Yeah – right.  This thing is actually going to help you quit smoking”.  I decided to do some research on my own, and I read lots of stories about how others had quit smoking tobacco cigarettes and now they only smoke e-cigarettes.  Actually, with the e-cigs you don’t smoke, you vape.  Again, I’ve done my own research (I do that a lot).  There are lots of different types of e-cigarettes out there, but they all work using the same premise.  You still get the nicotine (or you can order the flavor without the nicotine) but you don’t get the tar, the smoke, the carcinogens, the smell, the shortness of breath or the coughing.  You do however, get the sensation of smoking.  Let me say that again, YOU GET THE SENSATION OF SMOKING.  Alas, something that might actually work for me since I love the sensation of smoking.  Could it be true? 
I decided it was time me to try it out for myself.  I figured out which one I wanted to go with and I ordered my kit from v2cigs.com.  OH MY GOD – This is the greatest thing EVER.  You smoke this thing just like a cigarette, but instead of smoke you blow out a mist that has no smell.  I can vape in the house, the car or anywhere and there is no smoke smell.  I’m so happy, and my husband is thrilled.  It has now been three weeks, and I haven’t smoked a tobacco cigarette.  I don’t even want one.  I never thought I could feel this free without smoking.  You can order different strengths of nicotine (or none at all).  I started out with the medium strength.  My next order, I will go with the lower strength and eventually plan to go to the ZERO nicotine cartridges.  Now the smell of smoke really does offend me.  I can’t believe that I ever smoked those things.  I still haven’t figured out what to do about the horrible smell of smoke at my workplace, but at least it doesn’t make me want to smoke anymore.  I’m happy with vaping.
After I use this kit for a few more days, I’ll be posting updates on my v2cigs experience.   I’ll also be trying other products from a few different companies.  I’ll be posting updates and some reviews as I try new things.

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